I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
