Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
PANTIES FOUND
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