It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
