feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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