I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
