i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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