I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
