Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
someone owes me an orgasm
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
