so explain again why im purple
no
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
