i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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