i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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