I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
