There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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