who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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