I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
