I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
