I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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