marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
