The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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