You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
