I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
