he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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