Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
