No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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