Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I have already put on my inside pants.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
