hotel room ftw
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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