Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
