This girl is more easily done than said...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
