so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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