Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
