OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You need Xanax blowdarts
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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