you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
