she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
