he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
