miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
pray to the hookup gods
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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