I cockslap morals
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
just tell him i said nine months
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
