i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
