I wanna passion pit in your ass
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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