I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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