It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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