fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
