He disabled his match.com account in front of me
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
