is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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