I want to make a zoo with you.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
