I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
