her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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