I wish my penis had an off switch
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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