if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
