just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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