the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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