my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
