yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
