we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
