I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
